So I’m feeling a little less crappy than I did, and I’m glad I am able to sort out my thoughts now that I am feeling slightly better.
My life has been a whirlwind since last week. Finally, we both could not handle the stress from work and school anymore, and we had a long talk over it. Now then I have time to write down my thoughts, I’m going to pen down what I’ve learned from our relationship for the past 40 months.
He loves you unconditionally
So, like every other girl, I like romance. I honestly love it when my boyfriend gives me surprises now and then, sends me home, buy me flowers, do random sweet things. I mean which girl doesn’t? By the way, this was one of the things we talked and, he told me this,
I’m not like guys of your age (I’m currently 22), I’m like a piece of wood, I don’t know how to plan surprises, I’m not romantic, I’m not the kinda guy who is very good with words. I know romance is important to girls, but I am who I am. If you were to choose between romance and me, which one would you choose?
I chose him without a doubt on the spot. He then said
I would be really disappointed if you chose romance instead of me. Because no matter what, I’ll always choose you.
I had no idea why I can let go of this tiny bit of romance that I longed for, and chose him without much thought. I really have no idea. But after thinking, that’s when I realize, because, his love for me was unconditional. There is no condition to his love for me. It’s simple, he loves me, because its me. He chose me, because I am who I am.
He will never compare you.
I am absolutely guilty for this, I have always compared him to other people. This is a fault in me that I really have to change. He sees me for who I am, and always believes that, no one is perfect in this world. Instead of comparing, he tells me where I have to work and change for the better.
He thinks of you more than what you can expect.
Because my boyfriend is not really good with his words, and he is not romantic, I tend to always overthink and think that he doesn’t love me. Also because I always see how affectionate other people’s boyfriends can be online, I have a very negative thought that he doesn’t love me. And this is where I was terribly wrong. He thinks of me more than I expected, I will link this to the next point to elaborate more.
Guys also have their insecurities.
I guess the media always portrayed guys as the strong one, a guy shed his blood, but not tears. But, after the long talk and much thought about it, guys have their own insecurities as well. My boyfriend has his own esteem issues, as with any other guys or human beings on Earth. All of us have securities issues, and he tries to hide them away. He shared with me some of his issues and I have to be a better girlfriend and make him feel better as I improve myself and our relationship!
He needs encouragement as well.
Well, its only until today that I realize I have been the one living in a fantasy, seeking the perfect relationship. There is no perfect relationship, only imperfect couples working together to achieve their goals. I always think that he should be the one to initiate the convo, and that it is something a guy should do. But NO! I started taking the initiative more lately and it seems like its better, today, I tried to make a joke out of something, and he was actually laughing at it, and instead of just stopping at there. I tried to give him more encouragements than I usually would.
You’re amazing!/ You deserve a good rest after all the hard work!/Awesome!/ Thank you for doing well on your job!
Simple words like these, I believe can make his day, and he ended our night with this,
You’re important to me.
I know he’s hell tired because he worked from 8-8 today, and yet, he managed to send this short yet loving message to me. Sentences like this, are more heart-warming than “I love you”.
And being the usual me, I cried after the whole saga, but he said to me, I will always remember this,
I will never leave you, never abandon you. Unless you don’t want me. Now that you know about all these, instead of crying, why not treat me better?
Thank you my amazing superman, you’re important to me as well.